Angry from the past

This is not a nice post, actually. But this is important.

How many of us have been trapped in our 'past'?

This question was asked a few weeks ago in one famous motivation TV Program.

My friend, Hani, told me, 
someone who hates people bring heavy loads in their back. They bring the loads everywhere while keep adding to them with new hate. It is hard. It hurts.

Hani was right.  
It is very hard to bring those loads in our heart, and it is easier to walk without them. Why don't we leave the load somewhere?

Another friend, Sonia, has offered her best trick to reduce the imaginary loads. 

This can be done instantly by wiping the bad feeling promptly before we are dwelling on it too long. 

She refused consciously to respond to other people who made her angry, and simply just let them go. Her reason was:
She didn't want to keep any 'bad taste in her mouth' because she didn't want to spoil the taste of her next meals. 

Recently, I met some people who have been away for a few years. From our final meeting, they said things that made me quite disappointed and angry. There were some stupid prejudices on me and other friends. The comments were astonishing!

Actually, I didn't happy at all.
But I learned that they were confused and insecure about many things. I couldn't force them to accept that  people and things they knew before have changed. They must bear the changes and find strategies to be in the 'market' again. They cannot throw some of their disappointment in their life on me.

By the way, I successfully refused to get angry and put the 'load' on my back. 

Simply, by just don't care too much... and swift my focus on other essential problems.

Pekanbaru, 
tis problem needs to be resolved soon...

When Being Competitive is Counterproductive

I'm not trying to sound like any post at blogs.hbr.org. But, I like to emphasize that the competitive mind-set is a classic problem in life. However,  when I did my PhD, I learned a lot about the advantage of networking and collaboration in pursuing my final goal. I got a lot of supports during the journey from various sources since I tried to be open minded about other people's contribution.

Life is full of passion and desire on many physical and emotional things. We also want to be recognized from our success. This causes us to work hard and try to reach any possible opportunities in pursuing our dreams. Sometimes we look around us and cannot control our negative feelings towards other people's achievements. Then we trap into such a feeling, 'if he/she could do it, why I couldn't do it too?'  The notion that could boost our emotions and adrenaline to move faster than anyone. Hence, we just want to be known eventually, that we are as good as them. 

It is a normal to compete with other people. 
But, when it is just for a recognition and approval from other people, then you're misleading.

Then, we are suggested to change the mind-set in order to gain more results. 
A noble/high aim needs big energy and sources. 
A single success is normally short term and far from prominent output.

Take a look a professional sports player, for example. If someone is very successful as a single player in one sport tournament for a long time, he/she must have a great team behind him/her. A simple example is the Formula One driver. He has enormous supports during the race or outside the race. He needs a fast, accurate and reliable team to help him to win every race in a season. 

Adopting the same approach on working in a big project, could help us to save time and energy while guarantee collective success for every person in a team. I think this is the best part. 

In particular for the environment with limited resources, it is advisable for each person to start collaboration than being a purely competitive. According to Tina Seelig (2009) in 'What I Wish I Knew When I was 20':

"Where there are limited resources, being driven to make yourself and others successful is often a much more productive strategy than being purely competitive. Those who do this are better able to leverage the skills and tools that others bring to the table, and to celebrate other people's successes along with their own."

Then, to valuate our sources and admit our limitations is imperative to create something excellent in the long run. We need to reduce our ego and start to include other people in our efforts than compete with them, because it is counterproductive.

Pekanbaru,

Romantic, isn't it?

On my way back to our car at parking park in one nice spring evening, I bumped into this couple.

The lady is Asian and the man is Caucasian.
I saw them greeted each other 'hello'.
The man took the lady's hand and hug her.
Then they walked together.
It was a truly romantic scene at one film.

Walk together holding hand and hugging the love ones.
They looked so much in love. 

Chat about their days to the other half.
Felt satisfied after finish their target.
Talked about things they've encountered at the uni.
Or, perhaps, argued about who would prepare the dinner tonight.

I just took the photo to remind me of this view.

Pekanbaru,
Taken at 9.00pm at University of Otago, Dunedin, New Zealand, November 2010.

The Importance of Preparation (Lesson Learned from my PhD study)

I've realised how preparation could make differences in our big dream.

Before I came into my PhD study, I did some research to know exactly the expectations of being a PhD scholar. PhD study certainly needs a set of research skills such as critical thinking, effective reading, and scientific writing. However, I've been encountered some words related to non-research skills, namely 'bravery, resourcefulness, perseverance and endurance, grit', etc, during the study. Hence, those words became the keywords of my PhD stages.

I could  put those words in order like this:
Before applying the PhD: 'bravery'
First year of PhD: 'resourcefulness'
Second year and third year of PhD: 'perseverance'
Final year of PhD: 'endurance' 


I could describe them shortly according to their definition:
       bravery (n): brave spirit, courage
       resourcefulness (n): ability and creativity to cope with difficulties
       perseverance (n): steady persistence in a course of action, especially in spite of  
                                    difficulties, obstacles and encouragement
      endurance (n): the ability to or strength to continue at last, especially despite fatigue, 
                              stress or other adverse condition/stamina.   



I learned that doing a PhD is not only to gain a degree but also kind of a 'heroic journey' in my life. It must involve a strong heart and mind to win the 'battle'. I just could suggest you read 'The Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho to understand the philosophy of a 'heroic journey'. I've been inspired by the story til I could describe my PhD stages in four words.

Anyway, an important journey needs good preparation. You cannot just jump into the battle without good strategies. This what I meant by preparation. You must learn and make a plan to face some challenging events during the 'battle'. There is no straight way to overcome it. It is always full of fear, hope and relief. Or, otherwise, it is going to be a 'cheap' battle, because we could easily conquer it.

What I did during my PhD a few years ago, was not just to interview my lecturers, Professors, friends, or senior colleagues, but I also attended many workshops on how to do PhD, and consulted many books on 'How to get a PhD'. There are many books that can help us to understand the nature of the PhD study. It is a long term under pressure situation with one final goal: a thesis submission. Hence, the interviews, workshops, and books were very useful to help me in designing some strategies to reduce my stress. I didn't want to face the challenge without knowing what to fight for. Although it was a difficult and stressful journey, I was glad I have overcome it eventually. 

It feels wonderful to know that you've been worked so hard to achieve it.

Well, just to remind us, that success is described as 'when the opportunity favours only the prepared mind'. Again, we could see that the word 'preparation is very important'.

Pekanbaru,

Travel Update Year 2013

I love to travel everywhere. 

However, I know many of my friends or colleagues are traveling more for holiday or business purposes than me, but don't have time to share their stories in detail. I like both, travel and tell the experiences. Why don't you consider to be a travel writer? My answer is: I'd love to be TW one day.

Anyway, my busy year 2012 was ended up with Bangka-Belitung trip. I thought in 2013 there will be less travel to catch up with my grand plan, but then I must accept the fact that packing my luggage and rushing into some places are my new habit in life.

Then I made several resolutions such as: I must enjoy the travel, keep focus on my work, stay healthy, able to finish my responsibility before travel, and learn something meaningful for myself.

Perth (Feb-March 2013)

It was a secret journey for a secret mission to my fourth hometown (1st is Pekanbaru, 2nd is Yogyakarta, and 3rd is Manchester). It was a quick-stay in Perth. But, I made some efforts to visit many familiar places in Perth, like King's Park, my faculty, lab, and city center. We also had a chance to get around Swan River by our mini starlet, started from Matilda Bay and ended up at Applecross. I would say, it was a kind of awesome mini road trip. Will put it in my blog, definitely, because we spent more than 8 hours to see things we've been never seen before.

Yogyakarta (August 2013)
This was an interesting trip to attend ADS Conference in Yogyakarta. We had a great time, fresh ideas, some new friends and different perspectives about Candi Borobudur and Museum Ullen Sentallu. I met ex-manager of IALF Bali in 1999 and it was amazing that he still remembers our EEDP group. To be honest, this trip reminds me of how special it is  as an ADS award/alumni.

Japan (September 2013)

This was a trip to Hokkaido island to attend a conference at Hokkaido University, Sapporo, Japan. This was a memorable travel for me, because Hokkaido feels like some cities in Europe/US, with an extraordinary nature. I like the fact that Sapporo is very well-planned city and totally approachable than Tokyo. Talking about Tokyo, the public transportation is very efficient. We tried them until we're too exhausted and felt half-dead. But I took a chance to sit and observe quietly in many spots in Tokyo, like at Central Station, Ueno Park,  Tokyo National Museum, and Tokyo Skytree. I just have one sentence to describe Japan: "a place to indulge your senses for high-end technologies, instead of its beautiful nature". Will write about Japan Series very soon, before it was outdated.

Johor Bahru-Singapore (October 2013)
This time was hubby's conference at UTM Johor Bahru. It was a strange journey, because I didn't get a chance to visit special places at JB. Perhaps because JB is well-known as shopping paradise, but not for touristy experiences. Alhamdulillah, our friends took us to Singapore for a bit of modern exposure there. We took time to enjoy Singapore skyline at night from Garden by the Bay Skywalk. I think, Singapore is still an extraordinary modern city in South East Asia.


Jakarta-Jakarta (November 2013)
I would say, two departures to Jakarta were work-related trips. They were for a national seminar held by PKLN, Dikti and IELTS test. I'd like to highlight the IELTS test in a different post next time. It was only to update my English competency score.

Surabaya-Yogyakarta (December 2013)
Again, we're on work-related trips. I would like to acknowledge my network from Facebook, to enable us to arrange this trip promptly. Imagine if you had only three days to get everything from letters, tickets, hotels and appointment for meetings. Instead of Allah bless, you need to rely on those good connection to make it happen. I never thank Facebook before, but now I'm glad Zuckerberg developed this social networking application.

As usual, I love to share what I learn from those trips. This is actually what I've been looking for in this blog, because every trip should have a great meaning for us.

Pekanbaru,