The art of networking

 

One of women's weakness in finding more opportunities to succeed is networking skill. 
(Britta Thege, DAAD Alumni Seminar, UKI, Jakarta 2014)

It is true, some people could feel uncomfortable meeting new people for the very first time. Although they actually need to extent their network with a list of target contacts in mind, but lack of getting-to-know-you skill could hinder themselves on being succeed in new situations. In order to have a smooth transition in every new situation, there are three things that we need to keep in mind:
*introducing ourselves
*remembering names
*asking questions

I met a woman who was elegant, has a good position in a company and a high profile individual in her society. She told me, that it was difficult for her to start conversation with strangers, so she prefers other people to take initiative to talk to her. She doesn't know what to say, to do, or to ask, in order to start any communication. I couldn't believe that, since she is one of the friendliest individual that I've ever met. However, it is true that there is a typical discomfort for some people to approach other people because she is afraid to bother people then make a mistake or get a rejection. 

In one hand, I have tried to break such a barrier for many years now. I've known as a quite student and hesitated to speak in public. But, as a lecturer who always need to be in front of class most of the time, I learn to compromise the feelings and start to make myself involved in any situation. Besides, having so many friends wherever I go, could lessen the lonely feelings when I am traveling alone. I always in a situation where I am the only woman who's wearing a headscarf, a young South East Asian female, a muslim and an engineer. The only way to feel comfortable in an awkward situation is to chat with someone next to me about something general, then suddenly, I am among the crowd without my uncomfortable feelings. I keep practicing this skill and this helps me a lot in my career now. The idea is to get acquaintance as many as possible to reduce speaking barrier between me and the new situation.

So, this are tips on how to approach people in a new formal situation:
a) Introduce yourself. 
In Japan, after shaking hands, their prefer to exchange their business card, check the card, learn to tell the name and bow to each other. I prefer to use introduce my name and affiliation, then ask a question about something informal. This is where I am trying to find the common ground between me and the person.

b) Remember their names. 
This is the most difficult part of introduction. We don't do this deliberately, but sometimes we keep forgetting other people name. I usually don't forget older people name, but normally couldn't recall younger ones. This is because I used to associate the senior with their work and position, so it is easier for me to remember them. Just pronounce their name again so our brain could record the name.

c) Ask short but important questions or state something general to open the conversation. 
It is quite boring to tell people about yourself, address and occupation for thousand times, but, asking a question about how do you like the city, which part of this city is the most interesting or what do you recommend to see or visit in the city, is quite challenging. However, after sometimes, people don't mind to share their views about the subject and you just carry away with the conversation. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Don't feel bad, just start the same process to other people who seems more open and welcome to us. I don't like to stuck with an old grumpy professor who doesn't want to discuss his knowledge with me. I am as free as other people to leave him to speak to the other guests and learn something as much as I can from others. 

d) Close the loop by saying thank you. 
After having a nice conversation and you get the business card, it's time to say thank you and meet you again. The real test will come later, when the person recognize you again when you meet them, or you are the one who forget them. I don't mind people don't remember me at the second meeting. I'm normally the one who will approach them and trying to remind them about me. Besides, I don't mind if they forget or being indifferent for reasons that I don't know, since I am always free to approach new people and expand my network rather than stuck in one person all the time. 

This networking skill is really invaluable if we want to stay active and find many opportunities when meeting new people. Who knows the person next to you will be your reviewer, next supervisor or colleague, or the person who will offer you his book or resources that you've been searching for many years. Who knows this lady who looks totally different from you is actually your future career mentor. Who knows, also the person who is so quiet could be inspiring when he/she tell you about her research topic and current activities. Still, you will get something valuable, but need to be proactive, effective and passionate about other people. I think that is the beauty of networking and that's why this art need to be mastered with good practices and confidence.  

  Pekanbaru,