Not everyone needs to follow the same path

I learned about this fact 'not everyone needs to follow the same path' from 'Whisper of the Heart' movie.

 

Shizuku, a smart, book-worm, cheeky, creative and friendly girl, had an ambition to start writing a novel while she was still studying at the Junior High School. 

She's been motivated to do something meaningful at the final year of her Junior High School that can lead to her future career. However, rather than having such a smooth process on pursuing her dream, she has created a big mess at home and school that deteriorate her relationship with friends, teachers and family gradually. She has poured so much time and energy to work on her story without listening to other people advices. Shizuku's other motivation was just as good as her talented beau, Seiji Amasawa. 

Her mom and sister were furious, but her dad has learned that Shizuku's different intention could be something positive. She just need a chance to prove it. Her dad convinced Suzuku's mom that 'not everyone needs to follow the same path'...

This is enlightening. 

As an educator, I got this point, that everybody is special. He/she doesn't need to follow other people's career path. 

Instead of asking students to do something generic, I must learn that every personality has their own plan for the future. However, I feel, sometimes they could do more, so that's why I want them to prepare their future well. This will add more options to their future plan. 

An educator could only introduce them to many different options and opportunities, but they future really depends on their own personal capability and preference, eventually.

Pekanbaru,

My Different Cultural and Climate Experiences

Had a chance to visit Amsterdam from Germany.

After few years of living and traveling in some places, including abroad, just realized that my personality has been colored and shaped by many positive aspects from different cultures and climates. Here, I will review my experiences living in some places.

Pekanbaru The first place to call home is Pekanbaru, because I have to spend my senior high school time here. The city is quiet, and it has a nice-peaceful environment. One particular thing I remember about Pekanbaru, is always the place where I socialize and stay with my extended family. I consider Pekanbaru has the best collection of food with authentic taste. 

Yogyakarta Then I moved to Yogyakarta, specifically in a small village near Mount Merapi to continue my Undergraduate study. Here I learned about living in a culturally dense and traditional society. It really shaped my personality in such a way, until many people thought I'm a Javanese and not, a Minangnese. I've found the Jogjanese's attitude was completely similar to British. It is understandable, because they are using the same type of government: monarch. The people respect their Sultan and family, and think of them as their role models. Yogya is really memorable in many ways, for example because I came to term of 'hard work and resourcefulness' during the undergrad study. I've learned to be calm and thoughtful due to mindfulness approach in many aspects of life. We allow to be creative and independent, but at the same time to be respectful and compassionate to other people. 

Denpasar If I could include Denpasar, Bali as my next cultural and climate experience during learning English for few months, I would say Bali is totally a different atmosphere for me who came from Riau. It is culturally exotic and impressive with so many rules, ornaments and traditions related to Hinduism lifestyle. Balinese is blessed with many beauty mountains, beaches, lakes, cities tradition, culture, and international touches in one island. However, they were trying to hardly cope with the external influences, since it is totally different from their original lifestyle. They use a quarter of a year just to worship and do things related to religion. I remember Balinese as unique, creative, independent and open minded to a new change around them. 

Manchester Hopped on to Europe, then I picked Manchester as my first option to continue MSc. Life in a big city such as Manchester was always interesting with lots to see and experience. However, since I had a very hectic schedule, I didn't get much chances to enjoy the city. I took few important learning and adapting moments like to appreciate museums and art galleries, to experience a beauty of nature in four seasons, to enjoy the vintage and heritage architecture, to learn about the royal family and British monarch, to appreciate pedestrian bridges, and to learn about cultural differences with several friends from various countries. My best friends come from South America and nearby, and Germany. They told me a lot about their cultures, so I know what to expect when I live in a multicultural setting. The good thing I learned was to be more industrious, self-motivated, assertive, and mind my manners/attitude.

Jakarta I also had experience to live in Jakarta for several weeks to study English before hopped on to Australia. I didn't think it was a memorable one, except my visit to Museum Gadjah and Monas with friends. The big city is too big and unmanageable. The traffic jam is unbearable. I do like the shopping center and mall, but commuting from one place to another is a real challenge. I just could pick how we must be adaptable to the crowded environment and learn to enjoy whatever it takes during the traffic jam. As one OZ fellow said, we must be very organized with time and transportation, or otherwise it completely disaster to use 'macet' as an excuse in Jakarta!

Perth Took a while to return to Europe again, so I went to Australia for few years for my PhD. It was a different dream, since Perth, Western Australia, offers a nice-quiet-peaceful environment with a challenging Mediterranian climate. It is too hot in summer and very mild in winter. All shrubs, flowers, trees have distinctive scents and shapes. Animals are exotic, too, most of them are marsupial. I enjoyed the half-half culture or multicultural lifestyle in Australia, where I could say easily like this: I was eating fish and chips for lunch, while my fellow OZ next to me was opting the nasi-rendang. We, the international students, keep exchanging interesting views about how we observed and blend our existing personality with Australian lifestyle and daily routine. I start to enjoy beach, river and a picnic in public holiday, including our regular visit to a botanical garden every spring to enjoy tulip and other native plants from Australian regions. I learned how to appreciate family time and me-time rather than being very discipline, strict, and determined like Brits do. Australia is definitely one of my favorite place to be in the world.

Oldenburg Like a dream come true, I went to Europe again (Germany) for a six months blended training. It is definitely experiencing a different culture again. I learned my hard and easy ways to accept German's lifestyles. They are rigid and strict to the time, so we must follow their rules. Everywhere, all I could see the legacy of my previous Germans friends: systematic, hard work, detail, analytical, clean, neat, calm, uncertainty avoidance, and confident. I enjoyed German cities and histories, although there is a real sadness in their history. They have tried to compensate it to the world by giving more chances for other nations in term of financial aid, technology, knowledge and internationalization of Higher Education aspect. As one of the wealthy country in the world with vast innovations in many areas, we'll be able to indulge our experience of the latest technology like smart building and automatic-sensor devices in some big cities in Germany. The weather? It feels so much healthier than at home (now: Pekanbaru).

I'm looking forward to enjoy more countries for a particular time, and can't wait for different experiences in culture and climate again!

Pekanbaru,

How to deal with a competitive female colleague at work

Under the constant pressure of the workplace, I have observed some female colleagues who act deliberately competitively with other co-workers. Just recently, I’ve been annoyed by one of my senior colleagues who always constantly wants to highlight her achievements, perhaps to give the impression that her job and life are fantastic. It feels peculiar if we have this thing at the office; I miss my other offices (suddenly)... This type of behaviour is quite annoying and depressing. Though her intention is perhaps to motivate her junior colleagues, she made me think she is such a competitive person. So, I’d like to teach myself to understand this behaviour, its impact on another colleague, and how to cope with constant exposure to super competitive colleagues at work.

As a result of working in a male-dominated domain, i.e. Engineering, I’m facing a strange competition with other female colleagues. We are not more than 10 people in our office, but the pressure to be recognised in our teaching/research and trusted for specific top jobs makes us more competitive. Some female colleagues have relatively low profiles at work. However, they tend to be more aggressive, competitive, and narcissistic when in a top position. This is understandable because the woman in the top job position has different characteristics, strategies and skills to climb the professional ladder. However, their competitive behaviour could disturb the teamwork performance and create anxiety in our work circle.

Some competitive people could be openly ambitious (superstars) who want to shine and be admired for doing high-profile work. They could inspire others and need constant praise for their efforts. On the one hand, a weightlifter likes to take on extra workloads at work. They hope to be a source of morale-boosting at work but have problems with deadlines and territorial. The other type is the speeder who wants it done yesterday or being precise. They could lift up the morale and motivation of others. The other type covers a person who is a saboteur, competitive, or sneaky person. They see another colleague as a potential threat by keeping the information from others and trying to get all credit for the work that the teamwork has done.

How do we deal with them? Take these tips: 

A) Encourage cooperation rather than competition. 

B) Treat them as equals and avoid responding to their competitive behaviour with arrogance or jealousy. 

C) Remind ourselves that we are capable, competent, exceptional and extraordinary as we are. We don’t need external approval or validation from others by telling them about our achievements.

D) Harness their competitive energy and get motivated from it. 

E) Learn to listen; we could learn valuable things to improve our abilities. 

F) Let the competitive colleagues work on their projects as long as they are beneficial for the workplace.

G) Find a particular goal that we could use to get them to work with us rather than against us.

H) Don’t take it personally or attempt to change it. It is their own inner insecurities and not about the people around them.

I) Sometimes, you need to surprise them with your confidence, high status, accomplishments, and appearance because they tend to be narcissistic and status-conscious.

J) Be selective about female colleagues you let into your inner circle. Pick the one that earns your trust and treats you as an equal.

Pekanbaru,
Sources:
http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Overly-Competitive-Colleagues
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201109/how-keep-your-cool-competitive-people
http://www.amanet.org/training/articles/Caution-Women-Competing-at-Work.aspx
http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/the-eight-types-of-workplace-bitch-and-how-to-deal-with-them/story-e6frfm9r-1226600625232